November 25, 2014
November 24, 2014
Missing Harry is so much harder than I thought it'd be. The old habits are so hard to kick, and each one is a reminder of what we've lost. I've had to stop myself when I've passed the bathroom and reached to close the door so he wouldn't lay down in there. Or wiped a tear when the last few bits of my dinner were thrown into the garbage. And as I left the house this morning, I started to reach for the box of treats and had to remember there was nobody to give them to. I've missed a lot of dogs in my life. But this one is so, so different.
It probably doesn't help that I'm sick - I slept through 3/4 of the Packers game yesterday. C-man and Beerman are feeling it, too. Or that the weather is that dark, gray, rainy snowy yuk.
I'm glad we have most of the week off. We have parent-teacher conferences today. I work tomorrow, but the boys are off the rest of the week. It'll be good to lay low, recover, and be together.
at 10:48 AM
November 21, 2014
1/26/02 - 11/20/14
Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe us right now. My whole body aches for this sweet, sweet puppy. The dog who came to us as an abused, matted, wormy, dirty mess and was (justifiably) petrified of people. The dog who we soon learned had an enlarged heart with a hole in it who vets didn't think would live past 5. The sweet, sweet dog who beat all odds almost until the end.
He stole our toilet paper
He rubbed his post-breakfast and dinner face all over my couch
He woke me up with a sloppy kiss if I was sleeping too long
He jumped for joy over just about anything he liked
He howled at the coffee grinder and fire trucks and when he was happy
He hated thunderstorms
He loved tummy rubs
He hated the regular baths but was one of the groomer's favorite dogs
He chased the squirrels and raccoons and rabbits
He told me I was pregnant when I was too quick with the test reading
He waited only so long for us to finish dinner before insisting he get his share
He loved the park and getting dirty
He loved little white fluffy dogs
He loved his naps and puppy dreams
He loved us unconditionally
And we loved him more than we ever thought we could. Because in the end, he somehow enlarged our hearts, too.
May his days be filled with never ending cool waters, chewies, soft pillows, tummy rubs, soft toilet paper rolls, and the infinite joy that he gave to us.
at 8:54 AM
November 20, 2014
- Polysemy is my latest word I really enjoy. It means a word that has many meanings. I've found particular joy in it, because it clearly explains how people can have such different visions when they hear the exact same thing.
- I'm trying to figure out how to organize our kitchen so that it's usable. This is not my strong suit. I need someone to come and organize me.
- I used my Ninja blender for the first time last night. C-man wanted a smoothie. It worked great. I am pretty sure it's the first time I've owned a blender that worked.
- There is no snow in sight, but wow, am I in pain.
- Harry continues to decline. We're managing him with pain meds, but our time is incredibly short. It's so awful saying goodbye this way.
- I need to get C-man some wrestling shoes. Just one more thing I never thought I'd say.
- Today is cookie Thursday at work. I love cookie Thursday.
- I'm so glad the work week is almost done. It's been a long one.
- I should probably order more floor tile so we get it to do the entryway before it goes out of style. Because that'd be my luck.
- Next week is Thanksgiving. And teacher's conferences. I don't know which I dislike more.
- The good news is I'll finally put my bees to bed for the winter. I just need to take the liquid sugar off Beatrix's hive and replace it with a hard candy sugar board as an emergency store for winter. And then it's a hope and a prayer they make it until April.
- I love that the pope is raffling off his gifts to give the money to the poor. It's almost as good as him building the showers for the homeless. This pope gives me so much hope.
- I need to think of something fun for us to do locally next week on our days off. Yippee for vacation days!
at 3:41 PM
November 19, 2014
My life has suddenly quieted. And while still in disarray, emotionally with worry about Harry and physically with our kitchen that can't seem to cross the finish line, the quiet is so good for my soul. Last night, I put some things away in our kitchen, and realized about half of every box we took out of the kitchen we don't ever need to put back again. That cleansing feels really good. And while the rest of the world seems hell bent on rushing toward Christmas (the amount of Christmas swag and music at work is bordering on nauseating), it has been a good reminder for me to stop and appreciate now. One cup of coffee at a time. One hug at a time. One breath at a time.
at 10:01 AM
November 18, 2014
My goal today is to not drop two full glasses of water on people. It's really about the small things, sometimes... Like sweet morning kisses from Harry. And a fully grouted backsplash in our kitchen. And not a single football game to be watched today. And just the overall quiet that the cold and snow brings. Sigh.
at 9:40 AM
November 17, 2014
- Thankfully, the Badgers won big. C-man was absolutely thrilled with his experience at the game, and was asking this morning when they were going to go to their next game.
- I felt like I totally wasted my weekend on doing laundry and being sad.
- The kitchen backsplash is getting grouted today. We need the cabinet maker to show up with the remaining doors, some electrical panel to show up to be installed, and some trim. I can't wait to unpack our stuff into the cupboards and use it like a real kitchen.
- And that's all I've got for today.
at 11:43 AM